Thursday, February 5, 2009

mixed feelings.

This is an odd feeling. I think I've felt something similar before, but I can't remember what or when. There is a lot of anxiety. It is, I'm sure the same kind that many people are having now. business is slow. money is tighter than tight. Even my clients, the yacht owning crowd, are feeling the pinch and telling me that their businesses are hurting. Guys who never looked twice at my invoices are now bitching and moaning aboutcost effectiveness. Bills are late to be paid - to me and from me. We'll/they'll just have to wait.

So far my wife's car has racked up about a grand in repairs and we may not be done yet. I've been running the car back and forth between the shop and the Department of Environmental Quality inspection place for, either two weeks or always, I'm not sure which. The thing seems to run fine, but different pesky computer codes keep popping up after each new repair, after it takes about 300 miles to reset. Everyday is waiting for the other shoe to drop (wonder where that saying came from).

Sorry, I realize that we normally don't talk about money here, but am I not just voicing what many of us are thinking, or similar.

I know that for years I have looked around at the kind of money being thrown around by the general consuming public, and at the questionable real value of some of the things some of us do for money, and figured it would eventuallly all fall down, and now, it seems, it has. Many of us are going to have to come up with more real, more directly valuable work product to adapt to this new world.

And yet, I also find myself feeling a considerable amount of hopeful anticipation. Something is about to change, and it will all be alright - eventually. Different - probably, but alright. Is it because it's a different world now? One where America actually can and did elect not just a black man, but a smart, articulate, sense - making black man.....This particular man, black or otherwise. I like this guy...I actually heard him say, in reference to one of his cabinet choices that didn't pan out - "I screwed up". What are the odds of that kind of candor and honesty from a U.S. president? Three simple words, I suspect never before heard spoken publicly by a U.S. president. It makes all the difference. I find myself saying that frequently. Somehow, I now feel like I'm in good company there.

So, here I am, along with millions of others, anxious, tired of and from so many recent setbacks, somewhat fearful, and yet hopeful and looking forward to a better future.

God bless us, one and all.