Mathematic co-inky-dinks

1977, somewhere just outside of Coffeyville, Kansas, Driving down a dirt road in a 1969 Volkswagon beatle. It was February 22nd(2/22) I watched the odometer roll over 222 miles. I looked at my watch - the time was 2:22.

2008, somewhere in Portland, Oregon, driving down a street in a 2000 Subaru Outback. the display on my stereo said the station was 92.5. I watched the trip meter come up to 92.5 miles. the clock on my dash said 9:25.

Hmmmmmmm...........

Smokey Passed On(the death of our house cat)

Our cat, a grey Himalayan named smokey passed away in the wee hours of the night last night. He was a good cat, probably the mellowest, most passive cat in the world. He put up with rowdy toddlers and cranky adults with equal aplomb. My wife, Ginny couldn't sleep and went down and laid on the sofa with Smokey about midnight. About one she came and got me. She said that he kind of coughed about once and went limp. Ginny took him to Dove-Lewis Pet emergency, while I stayed home with our sleeping four year old son. Although his heart was still beating when I put him in the car, I could tell he was probably done. We think his heart was the issue. I've had a lot of pets throughout my life. I'm used to them dieing by now. Still, I will miss him. He was a sweet, if sometimes cat-loony little guy. Now we get to explain to a four year old about pets and death and how it's all o.k., even though he won't think so now. I'm one of those who hope that after we pass we'll meet up with not only human loved ones, but animal loved ones as well. So, Goodbye for now Smokey, and see you on the other side.

The company I keep

I work along the Columbia and Willamette Rivers around Portland, Oregon.

So, the other day I was down at one of the local marinas washing a boat. As I was leaving, the Great Blue Heron that had been hanging around close by all day let me get within about ten feet to take a couple of photos

I was reminded of a quote attributed to the famous burlesque queen Gipsy Rose Lee (back in the 1930's or 40s) - "You will always be known by the company you keep". I sometimes keep company with Great Blue Herons.

Great Blue Herons are smarter than geese. They have to be, they don't reproduce in as great of numbers. In the spring, down on the river, one will often see whole strings of very vulnerable baby geese swimming along in a line behind the parents(much like a river predator's buffet line) There are big fish, ospreys and the occasional eagle around. Many baby geese disappear before they get big enough to fend for themselves. Conversely, I have never seen any baby herons. I know there are some because there are always herons around the river - but you never see the young. They're not out & about being exposed to whatever dangers beset baby geese. That's why I think Heron's are smarter than geese.

More later,

John Ross

Half century & counting

Just had my 5oth birthday recently. Was surprised by a reasonably(for me) large turnout at a truly surprising surprise party. Although I'm not normally one who enjoys such surprises, this was o.k. Better than OK, it was a good day all around. As you might suspect, there has been much stock taking of my life around and since that day. I'm now 50. I don't own a house. I have no medical insurance. I have virtually no retirement setup. It's o.k. I will continue to strive for some degree of financial success a/o security, while bearing in mind that such things are, at best, tenuous things. It's more important to me to strive for spiritual, emotional and material balance in my life. In most things, I find balance to be the key. I know this to be true, as much as I know anything to be true. That doesn't make the achievement of balance any simpler or easier a thing to accomplish.

My life is o.k. I have family who love me and who are not intolerably crazy(most of the time). I have reasonably OK work to do that I believe I do reasonably well. I have sufficient, if not the desired housing. I have my own car to go where/when I want or need. I live in a beautiful city(as cities go) in a beautiful part of the country(pacific north west). I am in generally good health(for my age and otherwise). My kids are all in good health, as are their kids.

Rambling and babbling here, but it's how I process. or is it progress?

Politicians continue to vie and lie(I trust none of them), gas prices, groceries and most other necessities continue to rise, entropy increases, and yet, life goes on and life is basically good. Balance will be achieved, come, as they say, Hell or High Water.

Love this life, and Onward, through the fog.

more later.

A world without silence

Standing out on the patio, smoking a cigarette, listening to the urban night. It was pretty quiet for the city, but there was the ever attendant Ring. The Ring, always with me, is usually perceived as a combination of two or more slightly different high pitched tones. Sometimes it will take a sudden dip or climb in volume and all other sound will be temporarily muted - kind of like when you stick your head under water.
It's been with me as long as I can remember. At one point, years ago, I was commenting to my daughter that I wondered what caused that ringing sound I heard when there was otherwise silence. Her response was " No, Daddy, silence means NO sound. No one else hears ringing then, and if you do, you need to get your ears checked." I was kind of amazed. I just assumed that everyone heard the ring, since it seemed to have been with me always.
It's gotten louder over the years. It is now as loud as or louder than most conversations. I have learned that it apparently causes me to be unable to hear other sounds that occur in close to the same high pitched frequency. Otherwise, I notice that some very high frequencies cause me pain sometimes. The ringing of a hammer on an anvil comes to mind.

I have since learned that The Ring has a name. It's called tinnitus. It's caused by damage to the little hair-like vibration sensors in the inner ear, usually caused by exposure to extreme volume. It's pretty much incurable. The damage that I incurred to cause it may have come from too many too loud rock concerts, or the time I spent working in a newspaper press room (large printing presses are VERY loud, even with ear plugs). However, those things happened during or after my teen years, when I remember already hearing The Ring.
I suspect it more likely happened when I was about five or so. An accidental shot from a thirty-ought-six rifle came through the bathroom wall and bounced off lower end of the cast iron bath tub I was in, facing the shot wall. The ringing of the rifle shot tub was simply amazing. It was very loud. Picture being inside a bell that size when it was struck by a bullet. My grandparents and parents all came rushing in after the shot,
I 'm sure fearing the worst. If the bullet had come through the wall a few inches higher, it probably would have struck me full in the chest. I was in the faucet end of the tub, facing the other end, which is where the bullet bounced off of the lower curve of the tub.

They say that some people who have this condition are driven nearly crazy by it. I try to think of it as a reminder of how chancy life is, and how good it is to be alive. The photo is me at about the age I think the Ring occurred (or was born into my life, as I sometimes think of it).

For more information on The Ring, what Dr.s call tinnitus see http://www.hear-it.org/

100 things about me.

1. I'm on my second marriage

2. I procrastinate a lot, especially if I'm anxious about outcome

3. I'm anxious a lot.

4. I used to be smarter than I am now.

5. I'm learning to make better choices(slowly)

6. I'm lactose intolerant

7. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome

8. I feel that I'm in much better shape physically than most 50 year old men

9. I don't work at being in shape, I just work.

10. I'm a Christian, with leanings towards Native American beliefs

11. I just had my first ever dental filling

12. I am self employed

13. I have no medical insurance (get most of my doctoring at a free indian clinic)

14. I grew up in Kansas

15. I live in the Pacific Northwest now

16. I love my wife (a lot)

17. I have never "cheated" in a relationship

18. After my ex-wife died I didn't date for almost 10 years

19. I love chocolate

20. deleted ...tooo much information

21. same - t.m.i

22. I drink lots of coffee(with sugar)

23. I love reading

24. Almost all of my reading is for entertainment now - an escape hatch

25. I enjoy eating meat, but feel guilty about it -- how meat animals are treated

26. I was raised Lutheran

27. I haven't attended church in years

28. I play acoustic guitar

29. Although I've been playing guitar for over 35 years, I can only remember about 4 or 5 songs.

30. I would like to learn how to play ZZ Top songs on acoustic guitar

31. I can't read sheet music

32. I went $12,000 in school loan debt to get a minimum wage job in radio

33. I drive a Subaru Outback

34. I really like my car

35 I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

36. I often feel like I'm not doing what I am supposed to be with my work a/o life

37. I don't do team sports.

38. I do enjoy flying stunt kites.

39. I want to paint one truly great painting in my life

40. I have little to no fear of speaking in public (odd, considering how little I really have to say)

41. I try to appreciate the moment I'm in (Be here Now)

42. I have a 4 year old son

43. I'm not my son's biological father

44. I am my son's Daddy

45. I once spent 3 months in Hong Kong

46. I don't mind flying

47. I do mind airports

48. Sometimes I'm an INFX

49. Sometimes I'm an ENFX

50. I would like to work from home on the computer(and be paid well)

51. I have an associates degree in horticulture

52. I never quite finished my Bachelor's in Broadcast Communication

53. My IQ is about a third again above "average"

54. My IQ doesn't seem to help me much when it comes to earning a living

55. I don't have enough self discipline

56. I have tinnitus (My ears ring really loudly - all the time)

57. I believe the point of diminishing returns is important to recognize

58. I really dislike negative confrontation

59. I can have a quick temper

60. I mostly internalize my temper

61. I am generous

62. I don't cook

63. loud noises startle me - A lot!

64. When someone or something hits me in the head, something snaps and I get very angry very fast - not a good thing.

65. I can usually see both sides of an adversarial situation

66. I am more liberal than conservative politically

67. I never trust whoever gets elected

68. I would like to sing back up(baritone) for an acoustic folk/rock band.
69. some people like my speaking voice (some tell me I should be on radio-been there, done that.)

70. some women say they think I've got great eyes(I don't get it)

71. I love dogs but don't have one.

72. I used to raise English bulldogs (not to be confused with pit bulls)

73. I think the best dog I ever had was a block headed black lab named Luke

74. I believe the essence of good Rock'N'Roll lies in the elements of tooth, edge and snap.

75. I like many kinds of music

76. I was raised on a wide variety of music

77. re-thought, never mind.

78. I have, I think, a pretty wide scope of appreciation in a wide variety of fields

79. I don't like Death-metal, or gangsta-rap

80. I think Tom Hanks is the Jimmy Stewart of his age(for shear talent and versatility)

81. I think ZZ Top is the Beach Boys of their age(songs about cars and girls)

82. If Whoopy Goldberg ran for president, I'd vote for her.

83. I love the concepts involved in physics but can't do the math(how about that string theory?)

84. I wish I was better at advanced math (but not enough to spend the effort now)

85. I sometimes miss getting high, but that was me then and this is me now.

86. There was once something here that you don't need to know

87. pretty much the same - some things - better left

88. I grew up about ten miles from where the film "Twisters" was shot

89. I'm not afraid of tornadoes or earthquakes (but probably should be)

90. I miss Kansas spring thunder storms (even though they bring tornadoes)

91. I like the climate in the Pacific Northwest, rain and all

92. I live in a public housing apartment

93. I want to own a house (with an art studio/work shop)

94. I think being nice is ultimately more important than being competent (though being competent seems to pay better).

95. I don't think I'm very good at my job
(though some other people seem to think so)

96. I can read fairly fast, with good to excellent comprehension, and that's a good thing about me, I think

97. I believe God actually IS watching

98. I believe in free will AND predestination
(I can believe whatever I want)

99. I LIKE peanut butter and honey sandwiches

100. I will probably change this list over time, although it may profit me very little, and only in ways that are intangible

This is the first

This is the first blog i have ever done. It's an attempt at getting into 21st century communication. let's start out with some "who I am, what I'm doing". It's an outlet for random thoughts from an abstract random thought process kind of guy going on 50. It may not be of any interest to anyone else, or it may.

I find myself three years into my second marriage. I think I'm better at it than i was the first time. I went from being the only surviving parent of a great mid twenties daughter to having a combined six children(5 grown, one preschool) and five grandchildren. well, THAT's something different...and just fine.

Self employed, providing services in the marine pleasure craft field - that's small yachts averaging about 40 feet in lenght. I mostly do teak varnishing, washing, waxing, and some plumbing.

I live on and at the upper end of official poverty level, and that's ok, though I hope for and work for more.

I have done a pretty wide variety of jobs and other activities in my life.
kind of an eclectic life path.

I really like the new Robert Plant Alyson Krauss "Raising Sand" cd.

More later.